aphrohdites:

fox-party:

We found this in an abandoned parking lot today

this breaks my heart a little
naotakunn:

i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done

lucifeur:

upabovetheclouds:

Two more months and it’s 2015 what the fuck

I swear it was 2012 and we were all freaking out about the world ending like three months ago

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  • (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
  • Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
  • Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
  • Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
  • Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
  • Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
  • Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
  • Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
  • Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
  • Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
  • Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
  • Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
  • Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
  • Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
  • Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
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sempiternal-heart:

ohmygodyou-areproposing:

when-fates-collide:

tbruiser:

iloveyoulikekanyeloveskanye:



I feel like Rebel Wilson did whatever the hell she wanted and barely followed the script for this movie.

#her character didn’t exist and when she auditioned the creators were like#no you get your own character#do whatever you want#all of her shit was improv (via liarassideboob)

Rachel Wilson for president

Rachel Wilson
Though Mean Girls was rated PG-13 for “sexual content, language, and some teen partying,” that was a rating Paramount had to fight for, says Waters. “We had lots of battles with the ratings board on the movie. There was the line, ‘Amber D’Lessio gave a blow job to a hot dog,’ which eventually became ‘Amber D’Lessio made out with a hot dog.’ Which is somehow weirder! That’s the thing we found: When you’re trying to make a joke obey the rules and not use any bad words, it can actually become seamier, even.” Still, there were some things that Waters simply refused to change. “The line in the sand that I drew was the joke about the wide-set vagina. The ratings board said, ‘We can’t give you a PG-13 unless you cut that line.’ We ended up playing the card that the ratings board was sexist, because Anchorman had just come out, and Ron Burgundy had an erection in one scene, and that was PG-13. We told them, ‘You’re only saying this because it’s a girl, and she’s talking about a part of her anatomy. There’s no sexual context whatsoever, and to say this is restrictive to an audience of girls is demeaning to all women.’ And they eventually had to back down.” don’t fuck with tina fey (via brokenclocksrighttwiceaday)

(Source: helenaoftroy)

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strelitzias:

boxersifany:

ourtimeorg:

America’s first leaders.

Respect

oop
black-american-queen:

dapenguinninja:

giddytf2:

gyrojojo:

leylatimur:

yeeees
why is Ursula shunned from King Triton’s society? does it have something to do with being more powerful than him? why does King Triton have a magical trident, being otherwise a pretty regular merman? Ursula is a witch, if anyone should have a magical artifact it should be her, did King Triton steal it?
and finally, Ursula didn’t do Ariel much wrong
Ariel wanted some legs (and a vagina) and Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both
i’d watch the hell out of a movie about Ursula

“Ursula told her flat out that in the surface world you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”
ohhhh shit though, ursula was being too real about the world
although perhaps a bit too literal

Okay, these were all excellent points and I’ll never see The Little Mermaid the same way again.

I laughed at that caption at first then the reality actually hit me

you can have a vagina or a voice, not both”
Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together?
Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.
Emery Allen (via uglypnis)
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and I’m over it,
I’m over it,
I promise I’m over it.
But it still hurts sometimes.
Laura Elizabeth Ross (via missinyouiskillingme)

(Source: lauraelizabethross)

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necessary-sass:

dalekpoetry:

quin-the-infinite-fandoms:

silversora:

glitterweave:

chronicallylate:

HOW TO MAKE A CUTE DRESS OUT OF SHORTS

put shorts on

image

put legs in one leg hole

image

pull up and on to shoulder

image

instant fashion

And here we have glitterweave sporting a beautiful Sunset Yellow 

image

NEVER forget to accessorize 

image

well one of us is going to have to change

image

Guys

image

I really think

image

I’m winning this. 

(Yoga pants do the trick)

Ladies…..please….image

Send this to all the straight boys

(Source: chronicallyundead)

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a s k